Finding Him

Last year, I wrote a post describing my perfect man. Since then, I’d have to say I’ve added a few more items to the wish list.

For instance, he’d have no problem telling people he’s involved with me. He’d be honest and not give me cause to question things he says. And he’d actually keep his word, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

Ironically, one year and one day after writing that post, I think I’ve actually met him. Rico, whom I met at a Halloween party last month, has exceeded any expecations I’ve allowed myself to have of late. We’ve talked every day {multiple times a day} since meeting a little over a month ago. I’ve gone down to see him once, and he’s coming up this weekend for his second visit. We’ve already made plans to spend New Year’s Eve together, and we seem to grow closer every day.

His kisses curl my toes and I smile every time his name appears on my phone. His deep voice is enticing, and it feels just right when I rest my head against his chest. He’s funny and sweet and so much like my carefully thought-out description from a year ago that it’s almost like I conjured him out of my blog and into existence. He’s kind of the anti-Michael, and such a refreshing change from what I’ve tolerated for the last year and a half. And from what he’s said about his last couple of relationships, I’m a much-welcome change from what he’s tolerated as well. My friend Ace apparently had it right with this one. We get along so well and laugh all the time. Rico is the perfect combination of sexy, sweet, sensitive, and silly. He very willingly posts pictures of us together on Facebook, has told his close friends and family members about me {and I’ve met some of them}, and keeps his word. I genuinely trust him, which doesn’t come easily for me. We fit.

I know the relationship is ridiculously new, but he has already made me happier than I’ve been in quite a while where romance is concerned. I think we’re off to a very promising start!

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Angels, Devils, and Players

Last weekend, Stacy and I went to a Halloween party. This was my fourth time going, and it’s always a lot of fun. We started planning our costumes at least a month ago, and were really looking forward to cutting loose and just having a good time.

Back in August, we went to a party with the same group of people, and I met Aaron and Julie, a married couple whom I had seen before but never met. They were very nice and seemed very much in love. The night I met them was the night before their first anniversary. I remember telling them they gave me hope for finding someone myself. When we walked in to the Halloween party, we saw both Aaron and Julie right away, and they were happy to see us.

Several of our friends, whom we don’t get to see very often, were there and we were all drinking, laughing, and dancing. There was a guy sitting at the next table, whose chair was right beside mine, and I commented to Stacy that he had nice shoulders {in case I haven’t mentioned it, nice shoulders on a guy are a big turn-on for me}. He turned and commented on something Stacy said, and we started talking. He was cute and really nice. He said he wasn’t into playing games, that he was looking for something more long-term. We really hit it off and he asked me to slow dance.

After we went back to our table and kept talking, Aaron came walking by and I gave him a hard time for not having worn a costume. We joked back and forth for a minute, then he leaned over and said that if he had met me before he’d met his wife, that we’d be dating. I was so surprised at what he said that I don’t know if I even responded. He went on to say, “You’re a beautiful woman and you have an amazing body. Trust me, you’d be a very happy woman.” He walked away and I was standing there completely dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe he said that to me with his wife sitting right across the room.

Randall {the guy I had danced with etc} and I kept talking, and he said I was exactly his type and he wanted me to be his girl. I was really enjoying hanging out with him. He was 40, single, and retired Navy. Suddenly, we heard a commotion on the other side of the ballroom, and saw that there was a fight starting. There were both men and women involved, yelling and hitting and carrying on. When I saw the scuffle moving toward our side of the room, I tapped Randall on the shoulder and said we should get out of there. He was intently watching the fight, so I got up and left him sitting there and made my way out to the hall, where Stacy was.

Apparently, it had all started because two people were having sex {or were trying to} in the hall. Someone saw them and reported it to one of the moderators, who tried to kick them out. Their friends all joined in and it turned into a brawl.

This is the second time I’ve seen such a fight at one of these parties, and both times, Aaron was involved. The first time, he had come dressed like a cheerleader {complete with fake boobs and a wig}. Right after he won the costume contest, he got in a fight with a big girl dressed like a caveman. It’s kinda hard NOT to laugh at a grown man dressed like a woman trying to act tough and yelling at a woman who was easily nearly a foot taller than him and had to outweigh him by a good 80 lbs.

This time, Aaron was involved because he was acting as security/bouncer for the party and was trying to remove the offending parties. There was a lot of yelling and hitting and people holding other people back.

Again, it’s just comical to watch people so furious and fighting when they’re dressed in costumes. The girl who started it all was dressed as a devil, one girl trying to break it up had changed out of her gangster costume and into footie pajamas, another girl yelling and carrying on was dressed like Snooki, and a variety of superheroes stood around watching.

The police were called and eventually the whole thing broke up and everyone was told to disperse. Randall was getting ready to head home, so we exchanged numbers, kissed a little, and said our goodbyes. He said he’d call me the next day.

True to his word, he texted and then called the next morning. He made it clear that he was very interested in me and said that he would definitely come see me {he lives a few hours away}. He said he usually came to my hometown once a month or so for his job, so it wouldn’t be difficult to make plans to meet sometime.

It didn’t take long, however, before he showed his true colors. Later that evening we were talking on the phone and I mentioned that I was home alone because my daughter was still with her dad. He said, “Aw, too bad I’m not there. We could be bumpin’ and grindin’.” I said, “Umm, no we wouldn’t.” He seemed very indignant and asked why not. I told him I’d only just met him the day before and that I don’t just jump in the sack with guys like that. He tried to say that he wasn’t talking about sex. Sure… I don’t know about you, but I don’t describe hanging out and watching movies as ‘bumpin’ and grindin’.’

Needless to say, I haven’t heard from him since, which cracked me up. He sat there at the party talking about how he’s not looking for booty calls, that he wants something serious etc, but totally shut down when I made it clear that I’m not a sure thing. He might not have worn a costume, but I know a dog when I see one.

What a crazy freakin’ night, seriously. Can’t wait til next year’s party!

The One Who Got Stella’s Groove Back

Shortly after I got divorced, I went to a BBW Halloween party a couple of hours from home. I hadn’t dressed up for Halloween since college and had no clue what to wear. My friends came over and helped me put something together. Black cami, borrowed flowy black palazzo pants, and jingly belly dancing scarves tied about my waist and around my chest {kinda hard to picture, I know, but it was cute}. *Poof!* I was a gypsy.

On a whim, I decided to get something dramatic done with my makeup. I told her I wanted smoky eyes and some kind of design around my right eye. The result was pretty cool. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to show my friends.

At the party, most of the other girls were dressed way sexier than I was, but I had a blast. We had a few drinks, mingled, flirted, laughed, and had so much fun.

I kept noticing one guy now and again… He was kind of tall, stocky, and really cute. I’ve never been very assertive {or aggressive?} with guys, but I couldn’t stop looking at this one. My friends kept encouraging me to talk to him but I had no idea what to say. I was no good at this!

Finally, after a couple more drinks, I got up the courage to talk to him. I walked over to the bar where he was sitting and said hi, and asked if he was from my hometown because he looked really familiar {lame, I know, but hey, it worked}. He smiled and said no, and asked if I wanted a drink. I said sure and sat on the barstool beside him. We started talking and he was very sweet.

I don’t remember how it came up, but at one point I asked how old he was. He said 28. 28?? I had just turned 40 a few months earlier and seriously thought he was much closer to my age. I said, “You’re just a baby!” and told him how old I was. He said he’d always preferred older women. Oh? Game on.

We hung out and talked and kissed a little for most of the rest of the night. He asked for my number and I gave it, not entirely believing I’d ever hear from him again. Eventually it was time to go and we parted ways with one more kiss.

The next morning, my friends and I left fairly early to head home. I was half asleep in the backseat when I got a text message. It was from ‘Winston.’ He wanted to know if he could take me to breakfast. I was so surprised to hear from him, but said {with much regret} that we were already on our way home. He lived an hour or so south of where the party was and said maybe we could meet in the middle sometime.

We continued texting and occasionally talking on the phone for a couple of weeks, and on a weekend when my daughter was to be with her dad, we arranged to meet. I was excited and nervous. He got us a pretty nice hotel room in a decent hotel, not far from the place where we met. He was sweet and sexy, yet totally laid back and casual. I was so attracted to this guy!

One thing led to another, and next thing I knew, we were all over that king-sized bed. He had me in positions I’d never been in before, talking dirty, smacking my ass, and I couldn’t get enough. I thought sex like that was only in the movies! I was exhausted, panting, sore, and… satisfied. Oooohhh my, was he talented.

When I headed home, I was feeling like a new woman, but also a bit like a cliche. My ex had told multiple people that my reason for wanting a divorce was that I was having a mid-life crisis. Really? {no, no, no, not gonna bash the ex} Yet, here I was, heading home after a sex-filled weekend with a guy who was 12 years younger than me. What a delicious little secret!

We continued talking and texting, and a few weeks later, made plans to meet again. This time, the hotel room he got us had a hot tub in it. He definitely had my attention and I couldn’t wait to try it out. Again, we made good use of every square inch of that king-sized bed. We moved to the hot tub, and I sunk down into the bubbles while he sat beside it, watching me. I had always been self-conscious being naked in front of my ex, but with Winston, I was completely uninhibited. I liked the way he looked at me, like he couldn’t wait to devour me. It was such a turn-on. He made me feel beautiful, sexy, irresistible, and naughty. I was discovering a side of myself that I never knew, never explored. For the first time, I felt like a sexual being, and it was nothing short of fantastic.

I was in touch with Winston for another month or so after our second meeting, and then never heard from him again. Nothing probably ever would have come of it anyway {relationship-wise}, but he definitely awakened something in me that was too-long dormant and a long time coming {pun semi-intended}.

Next up: Friends Shouldn’t Let Friends Beer Goggle