The Catch

I recently read He’s Just Not That Into You at the suggestion of one of my friends. Before I was even halfway through it, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons between the book and some of my unsuccessful relationships/dates. What resonated with me most was that if a guy really wants to get in touch with me, he will. How many times have I accepted the excuses of how busy he was, or he was out of town, or he lost his phone, or he had poor reception? I pretty much stopped chasing people around when I saw the movie version of this book a couple of years ago, but reading the words in black and white really clinched it.

My friends have told me over and over that I’m a catch, that I’m just meeting the wrong guys {who clearly don’t deserve me}, and to have faith that there’s someone out there for me. It’s discouraging to get my hopes up over and over, only to realize I’ve been kidding myself. I’ve met guys who just didn’t find me worth their time, and I’ve met guys who just wanted a piece of ass. I’ve tried to give my heart to guys who tossed it aside like a crumpled piece of paper.

I think my problem is that I’m too much of a romantic. I listen to love songs and imagine that maybe someone might think of me when he hears them. I’ve read so many romance novels and watched so many romantic movies, where the guy realizes he loves the girl and comes through in the end, defying whatever odds — crowded airport, boat leaving the dock, impending wedding, etc — to get his girl. I WANT TO BE THAT GIRL!!! I want to be the girl the guy can’t be without, the one he will go through hell trying to win, the girl worth fighting for.

Am I being unrealistic? Do I need to lower my expectations? Or do I stand my ground and say that I do deserve that and that I am worth fighting for? I have to hold out hope {such a dangerous little word} that my other half is out there, looking for me, feeling like he’d be the luckiest guy in the world if he had me.

One can only hope...

One can only hope…

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Like School in July… No Class

Although I’m still relatively new to the whole dating-after-40 thing, I do believe that a first date should be a best-behavior date. I’m not saying the guy has to be in a suit and tie and arrive with flowers for me, but at least be on time and dress like you have some sense.

After reading Perpetual Prude’s woes about an inconsiderate date, I was reminded of some of the less-than-classy guys I’ve been out with.

There was the guy who gave me a specific time and place to meet him for lunch, then showed up nearly a half hour late looking like he had just gotten done playing basketball… sweatpants, wave cap, baggy sweatshirt. He pulled out his tablet as soon as we sat down and pretty much talked about work the whole time, while eating his way through a two for $20 deal at Applebee’s {1 Appetizer + 2 Entrees for $20} by himself. He seemed a little surprised later when I said I just didn’t feel a connection.

Then there was the guy who managed to turn a nice lunch date into the definition of awkward. We’d had a great conversation while we ate, but when he walked me to my car afterward, he… poked me. I didn’t want to embarrass him, so I wasn’t going to say anything, but he looked at me with this creepy look and said, “You can see I’m kind of excited. Are you excited, too?” Ummm…not so much. He then went on to say {in the same creepy way}, “It’s too bad you have to get back to work, I’d love to get you in your backseat right now.” I’m assuming the look on my face said it all because he quickly said, “Not like that, I just wanna make out.” Sure, pal. Your little friend downtown says otherwise. I’ve never been so happy to get back to work in my life.

There was another guy I had met online who asked me to meet him for dinner. I wasn’t terribly familiar with the area, and I ended up semi-lost. When I called him to figure out where to go, he said he had to drop his cousin off and would come to where I was so I could follow him. He showed up a minute later wearing sweatpants {WTF is up with guys coming to a first date in sweats??} and looking like he just woke up. He had another guy {the cousin? some hoodlum? who knows!} in his car and said to follow him so he could drop the guy off. Against my better judgement, I followed him. We drove farther and farther from where all the stores and restaurants were, and when I realized we had been driving for 15 minutes, I got more nervous. I slowed down and hung back enough that another car was able to get between us {thankfully it was dark, so I was hoping he wouldn’t notice}. At the next intersection, after the guy went straight, I turned right and drove like a bat out of hell. For all I knew, he was leading me to some secluded storage facility where God knows what would’ve happened. Sometimes you just gotta go with your gut.

Probably the best {or worst?} example of a date with no class was a guy who really needs his own blog post. That’s a story for another time. But trust me, it’s a real doozy and worth the wait.