Falling for Him

It’s my favorite time of year, when the air is crisp, the leaves are gorgeous, my sweaters seem snugglier, and hot cocoa is never more than a whistling tea kettle away.

It’s also the time of year when I feel myself yearning more than usual. Wishing for someone to snuggle on the couch and watch football with, someone whose hand fits perfectly with mine.

Some women have a very specific list of what their ideal man must be: salary in six figures {or at least high five figures}, nice car, certain height, certain hair color, etc. I admit, I do have a list, but who he is to me is much more than what he earns or drives.

He’s taller than me and likes to laugh. He works hard for his money and wouldn’t mind that I’m a goof. He’d like my cooking and wouldn’t mind fixing things for me — hammering a nail, changing a lightbulb, working with his hands…

He’d hold the door for me and his kisses would make my knees weak. He’d slow dance with me and hold my hand when we’d go walking. My birthday could be as simple as a list of reasons why he loves me, or as romantic as a room full of candles and soft jazz.

He’d look at me like I’m the only woman in the room and his arms would feel just right around me {hugging me from behind would be a bonus}. He’d call me baby and want to know how my day went. He’d like snuggling on the couch together watching movies and he’d playfully pull me back into bed if I got up too early.

He’s the one I’d grow old with, sit on a porch swing with, and laugh over the same old stories with.

I’ve seen glimpses of him in some of the guys I’ve known and dated, and many times I’ve wished I could take all of their best features and make the perfect guy. I’d combine Eric’s gorgeous body, Winston’s bedroom skills, Charles’ tenderness and amazing kisses, the intelligence and sense of humor of Ace {a very good friend of mine}, Ben’s strong arms that felt so right wrapped around me, and of course Sonny’s sweetness and beautiful heart.

Who knows, maybe I’ve already met him or seen him. Or maybe he knows someone I know. The romantic in me will keep looking.

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Another Facebook Fool

It’s amazing to me how often people think I’m either too stupid or too gullible to know what they’re up to, especially when we’re friends on Facebook.

Javier friended me after seeing my picture in a group we’re both part of. We chatted back and forth occasionally, and he was flirtatious. He lived on the other side of the country but worked as a truck driver, and he said that he’d love to meet me in person sometime when he was in the area. He seemed like a very sweet guy. He was a widower with grown kids and said he was really looking for a woman who would make him a priority, not an option.

One weekend, I saw that he had made his way back home for several days and he had posted pics of himself with some woman. He said she had been his high school crush, that they had reconnected, and the old sparks were there. I messaged him saying it looked like he had found a love connection and that I was happy for him. Initially, he claimed to be very excited about reconnecting with this woman and he was happy to have her back in his life. I told him I still wanted to be friends regardless. He continued ‘poking’ me a few times a week on Facebook, meanwhile constantly changing his profile pic to various ones of his lady friend {am I the only one who thinks that’s kinda creepy?}.

Suddenly, he started really flirting with me, acting like I was the one who got away. He said it was too bad we hadn’t been able to meet because he was sure we’d have amazing chemistry. I wondered what his girl back home would say if she knew he was talking to me like that. I said as much, and he said he didn’t know where things were going with her. We chatted off and on, and some of the conversations got fairly suggestive. He said he loved a woman with a round ass and talked about his favorite sexual positions. He said I was just his type and that I turned him on. One night we were playing 20 questions and everything he said was sexual. He started talking again about wanting to meet me, and again I wondered what the story was with this other woman. I got the impression that he thought I was a sure thing, so I told him I’m not easy. His response was, “I see.”

Within days after that, he suddenly changed his Facebook status to ‘in a relationship.’ He posted check-ins along his route, and each one professed his love for this woman in Vietnamese {I looked it up in Google translator}. I sent him a message saying it looked like he had figured out where things were going with her after all. I said I guessed he didn’t need me anymore and admitted that I’m tired of being the one who’s disposable. He claimed that I was ‘closed up’ and that he couldn’t be himself around me because I got offended at everything he said. Oh? I really resented that. I made one comment letting him know that I wouldn’t just fall on the ground with my legs in the air and suddenly I was closed up? I reminded him that he sure didn’t have any trouble being himself around me when he was talking about the size of his package and asking what the kinkiest thing I’d ever done was. He said that it was just a game.

Suddenly it was clear. She would be his lady in the streets and I was to be his freak in the sheets. He thought he could court her and woo her, and when he was in this part of the country he would have me for the fun sexual stuff.

Guess again, pal.

Maybe he didn’t realize that all of his posts showed up in my news feed. Maybe he didn’t care. Either way, he can keep right on truckin’.

Skeletons in the Closet

Funny how a guy can seem so great when you don’t know his background. Stacy has told me many times to check guys out online, that there’s plenty of info to be found in public records. I actually did check public records on one guy to see if he really was divorced {since he cleverly avoided giving me a straight answer on the topic}. But one search turned up way more than I ever expected.

I met Cecil online and was immediately very attracted to him. He had a great smile and was very sweet. We went out a few times and there were definite sparks. We got along really well, and his kisses were amazing. But certain things about him troubled me.

For one, he often didn’t pick up his phone at night when I called, even when he had told me to call around a certain time. He also stood me up a few times with little or no notice, and when I got upset about it, he’d say, “Well I can see you’re feelin some kinda way.” Um, yeah, I’m feelin some kinda pissed off, pal. I really started wondering if he was married or living with someone, so I started doing a little digging online.

I didn’t have to look far.

I never did find out if Cecil was married or cohabitating, but I did find out that he was a convicted felon. Yep. Apparently, several years earlier, he had beaten one of his neighbors with a shovel because he thought the neighbor had injured his daughter. From the police report, it sounded like his daughter had been taunting the guy, and when he started to come after her, she tried to take off but ran right into a tree. She went home crying and her father grabbed the shovel, came down the street, and proceeded to pummel the guy. Lovely! The best part is, he had told me he avoided confrontation whenever possible because his kids were way too important to him to be away from them, especially for something like prison.

When I told Stacy, she did a little more digging and discovered that he had also once been an accessory to murder. Apparently he and someone else were robbing a store and ended up shooting and killing the cashier. He did some prison time, but I’m not sure how much, altogether. He never gave any indication that he was prone to violence, which made his criminal record that much more shocking. Needless to say, I was suddenly really afraid to have Cecil in my life. I knew better than to tell him what I knew, so I came up with another idea. I told him I thought I was just too needy and clingy for him, that I needed a guy who would be there all the time for me, etc. He never contacted me again after that. I was still a little worried that he’d call or text after a month or so, but thankfully he never did.

At times like this, I’m really glad my parents don’t know much, if anything, about my dating life. I think they’d ship me off to a nunnery {or at least force me to live in their basement}.

Never Thought I’d Say This, But…

I have become a Tweeter. Or Twitterer? Tweety?

Whatever you call it, I’ve reluctantly joined Twitter and am trying to figure out how it works.
I can’t promise I’ll always have clever things to say, but I do tend to speak before my brain has a chance to catch up and stop me, so there’s that to look forward to.

Anyway, I’m @kissingfroggz. See ya there…

I promise I won't start speaking in hashtags.

I promise I won’t start speaking in hashtags.