The Drought Breaker

As you can probably gather, this was the one who ended my three years of self-imposed celibacy. I didn’t go looking for him, but I can safely assume he was looking for me. Or someone kinda like me. Oh, let’s be serious. I could probably have been just about any female walking by and he would have acted the same way. The difference is, he approached me on the right day in the right month of the right year when I was totally willing to say, “Come ‘n get me.”

Grocery cart

I went to the grocery store one night, as I often do, with no list and wandering up and down the aisles trying to remind myself of what I needed. As I came down one aisle, I passed a guy and smiled as I went by. He said, “You have a nice smile.” I paused, said thank you {smiling again} and went on my way.

At this point in my life, it had been a very long time since a) I had felt attractive, and b) a guy had complimented me. For much of my marriage I tended to dress in very baggy, shapeless clothing. I knew my ex preferred thinner girls {which I was not} and I was always self-conscious. Sex was ALWAYS with the lights off. I didn’t make much effort with my makeup because I didn’t see the point. But in the months leading up to this encounter, I had started making more of an effort with my appearance. I had lost some weight, begun wearing makeup {not a ton, but still enough to make a difference}, and started dressing in clothes that actually fit me properly. I had stopped hiding behind my weight and my clothes.

Anyway, I kept walking through the store and remembered something I needed back near where I had seen the guy. Sure enough, I saw him again. This time he approached me and struck up a conversation. I ended up getting his number and went on my way, kind of stunned at what had just happened.

The next day, I called him and we made plans to meet for lunch. I felt nervous and awkward. I hadn’t been on a date in a really long time! We made small talk, but mostly focused on our food. When we were nearly finished, he said he had an apartment nearby and asked if I wanted to go over there. I said I didn’t have much time {I had to get back to work}, and he smiled and said, “We don’t need much time.”

I looked at him, considered what he was saying, slowly put down my fork, and said, “Let’s go.”

{I know, I know, I barely knew the guy and shouldn’t have gone. But dammit, a girl’s got needs!}

We went to the apartment, and let’s just say…
The heavens opened up, the angels were singing, the DROUGHT WAS OVER!! I had no idea sex could be that good. Now, I’m not going to use this space to bash my ex, however… I will say that in all the time we were married, our sex life was pretty vanilla. But this guy, whom I had only just met, knocked my damn socks off in less than 15 minutes. I went back to work feeling naughty and sexy and just plain incredible. Were my buttons fastened the right way? Did my hair look ok? Who knows?? Who cares?? I just had sex, everybody, and it was FANTASTIC!


We hooked up off and on for a while, and even though I wasn’t always…satisfied {wink}, it was always better than any I’d had before. Turns out he had a serious girlfriend, though. I never had any delusions that we were in a relationship, but the last thing I need is some crazy girlfriend chasing me around with the Cheaters camera crew because I’d been messing around with her guy. So I told him I was done and moved on.

Oh, one more thing…
I would be remiss not to mention one important detail about this guy. He had an a•m•a•z•i•n•g body. I mean, he seriously looked sculpted. When we met at the grocery store, he was wearing baggy jeans and a loose rugby shirt, so it was hard to tell what kind of body was under there. But oh, my stars, when he took of his clothes… his body was simply incredible. I couldn’t stop looking at him.

Ok, maybe not exactly like this... He didn't have a beard or a trident, and he wasn't white. But you get the idea.

Ok, maybe not exactly like this… He didn’t have a beard or a trident, and he wasn’t white. But you get the idea.

Next up: Booty, Caboose, Apple Bottom, Badonkadonk


4 thoughts on “The Drought Breaker

  1. Pingback: Chocolat | Kissing Frogs

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